Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
