Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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