after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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