id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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