Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
