Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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