So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
