So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
