Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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