In the future we'll all be gay
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
PANTIES FOUND
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
