Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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