he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Randomize
