I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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