I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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