An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
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