He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
