youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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