I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
