I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
