I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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