you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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