Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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