he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Are we still banned from the library?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
