Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
