I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
