its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
