I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
