dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
