If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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