I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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