yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize