You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
