They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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