he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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