Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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