Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Someone came in the potted fern
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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