this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
