you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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