as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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