talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
