if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
