I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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