a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
