Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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