Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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