Christians are straight up FREAKS
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
