You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
