My hair reeks of homosexuality.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
then he tried to convert me to islam
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
