Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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