Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
