It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I touched a dick in church today
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
