WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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