Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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