Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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