You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize