I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize