woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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