I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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